Carter Edstrom: I die a little bit on the inside. Lol. Jkbut seriously, I just laugh along.
Angelyn Ducas: Lost your pen=no penNo pen=no notesNonotes=no studyNo study=FailFail=no diploma...No diploma=no workno work=no moneyno money=no foodno food=you get skinnyyou get skinny=then you get uglyUgly=no loveno love=no marriageno marriage=no childrenno children= alonealone=depressiondepression=sicknesssickness=deathLesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die.. :P________________________________________rihanna- oh nana whats my name? person-why are you asking your grandma your name? rihanna-oh shut up and drive! person-but it's raining!!! rihanna- then get under my umbrella. ...person-who do you think you are? rihanna-the only girl in the world person-no you are not! rihanna- i love the way you lie...... ;)___________________________________DUDE! she called you an alcoholic..OH HELL NO hold my....actually dont touch my VODKA!_______________________________________________! ___________I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket"__________________________________________________________There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?" Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?" Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. ! Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde ! $50.00 The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?" Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.:) Like this if you like my jokes ♥...Show more
Antonia Mogg: A guy is at the bar talking to the bartender. The discussion goes on about the most shots of tequila in a row ever done in the bar without throwing up. The bartender tells him that the record is ten straight. The man laughs and says, "I can do that, no problem." So the bartender sets up 11 shots on the bar for the man. The man looks, laughs and quickly downs all 11 in about 5 minutes. Everyone in the bar watches in anticipation waiting for him to throw it up but he doesn't. Eventually, he staggers out the door and gets into a cab. The next evening that same man comes back to the bar looking very worn out, and orders a ginger ale. The bartender looks at him and says, "What, no more tequila?" The man looks up and says, "Not for a while ! my friend. You see, when I got home last night, the room started spinning and I blew chunks." The bartender says, "Blowing chunks is not that bad. Most people who drink that much usually throw up." The man replies, "But you don't understand. Chunks is my dog!"...Show more
Cassey Hollinghurst: Korny!
Dalila Yoon: This is one for all the computer geeks out there.Why did the computer scientist die washing his hair?Shampoo bottle reads as follows.apply,rince,lather,repete0b1111 people walk into a bar. The first 0b1110 sit down. Unfortunately, the 0b1111th gets 0xF'd What did the constipated mathematician do?Worked it out with his pencil.Why did the chicken cross the road?Because the first law of Thermodynamics says so.What do you call a cow with no legs?Ground beef.What do you call a pig with no legs?Ground pork.What do you call a dog with no legs?It doesn't matter what you call it, it ain't coming at your request.pro is to con, progress is to congress.What do chemi! sts and biologists say to their bff's?If I were an enzyme I would be DN! A helicase so I could unzip your genes.I am singing solo, solo I can't hear myself.I am singing tener, so loud I can be heard tener so miles away.Want to hear a joke?Well, thats too bad, because I ran out....Show more
Tawny Grosskreutz: Why did the chicken cross the roadbecause he was not fenced properlyIf a blonde and a red head are falling off a building who lands first?The red head- the blonde has to stop and ask for directionsI do not know much about politics so I do not know if this is offincive or not, but I thought the idea was funny.George Washington, Abriham Lincoln, Bill Carter, and Geroge Bush are on a plane. George Washington says I am going to make some one happy then throws a dollar out the window. Abriham Lincoln says I will make five people happy then throws five dollars out the window. Bill Carter says I will make 500 people happy then throws 500 dollars out the window. George Bush says I am going to make every one happy then takes Bill Carter and thr! ows him out the window.there were a blonde a red head and a burnett. they were going to the dessert. they could only bring one thing. the red head brought a electric fan the burnett brong water and the blonde brong a car door. so the burnett asked the blonde "why did you bring a car door?" and the blonde says "because if it gets hot i'll roll down the window"...Show more
Phil Kuarez: santa:kitna parha huaa hai banta:mai BA tak parha huaa hoonsanta:saala do akshar parha hai woh bhi ultaKAISA LAGA?...Show more
Darcie Peraha: The beautiful secretary of the president of a bank goes on a sight-seeingtour with a very rich African king who was a very importantclient.The client out of the blue asks her to marry him. Naturally, the secretaryis quite taken aback. However, she remembers what her boss told her,...don't reject the guy outright. So, she tries to think of a way todissuade the businessman from wanting to marry her.So, after a few minutes, the woman says to the ! man, "I will only marry youunder three conditions. First, I want my eng! agement ring to be a 75-caratdiamond ring with a matching 200-carat diamond tiara."The African king pauses for awhile. Then, he nods his head and says, "Noproblem!! I have. I have."Realizing her first condition was too easy the woman says to the man, "Iwant you to build me a 100-room mansion in New York. As a vacation home, Iwant a chateau built in the middle of the best wine country in France."The African king pauses for awhile. He whips out his cellular phone andcalls some brokers in New York and in France. He looks at the woman, nodshis head and says, "Okay, okay. I build. I build."Realizing that she only has one last condition, the secretary knows thatshe'd better make this a good one. She takes her time tothink and finally she gets an idea. A sure-to-work condition. She squintsher eyes, looks at the man and says, rather coldly, "Since I like sex, Iwant the man I marry to have a 14-inch penis."The man seems a bit disturbed. He cups his face with his hands and restshis e! lbows on the table, all the while muttering in Africandialect.Finally, after what seemed like forever, the king shakes his head, lookingreally sad, and says to the woman, "Okay, okay. I cut. Icut."...Show more
Frank Gazaway: hardees *is* not was
Patrica Loertscher: A person walks into a bar and says ouch.3 blondes walk into a bar, you would of thought one of them would of seen it.
Tom Romer: Hope these jokes make you laugh! Enjoy! :DWhile visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, "Please, sir, may we have our teacher back...?"Three men walk into a cave, and hear a voice from the back."I'm coming to get you! And I'm g! oing to eat you!"The first man runs away.They hear the voice again."I'm! getting closer! And I'm going to eat you!"The second man runs away.The voice comes once more."I've nearly got you! And I'm going to eat you!"The last man bravely walks on.And at the very back of the cave, he finds a small boy picking his nose.A man went into the public toilets to relieve himself. The first cubicle was in use, so he went into the next one. As he took down his trousers, he heard a voice from the other cubicle."Hey, hows it going?"Not wanting to be rude, he replied, "Not too bad thanks."A few seconds later, he heard the voice again."What are you up to?"Somewhat reluctantly, he replied, "Having a quick sh*t, what about you?"He heard the voice again."Hold on, I'm going to have to call you back. There's some wise a.ss in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say!!There was a red man and a green man the red man invites the green man over to dinner while cooking dinner the red man goes to freshen up a bit in the shower but the green man comes early while t! he red man was in the shower he heard the door so put a towel around him and answered it but as he opened it a big gust of wind came and blew the towel away... the green man ran across the road and got hit by a bus. The moral of the story is don't cross the road when the red man is flashing!Source(s):Users on Yahoo! Answers that posted jokes....Show more
Alexander Villas: Hang in there. Eventually someone will star one of your jokes.
Rachell Meese: Give Me Some Good Jokes
Charissa Riley: For his birthday Little Matt asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage payment on this house is $2,000 a month and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it." The next day the father saw little Matt heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "son, where are you going?" Little Matt told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. then I heard he! r tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'! m staying here by myself with a $2,000 dollar mortgage payment and no... Fricking Bike!"...Show more
Wilbur Marksberry: hahahahahahaha!!!!!! you're right again!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!! :)
Sammy Hatzenbihler: AHAHAHAAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHA OMG IM SPLITTING MY SIDES. THAT WAS SO INSULTING. youre cool. oh yea.
Garry Ohmen: Well one thing that makes me hopefull is you will run out of daily questions you can post soon so I won't see another
Reginald Maxi: That was so bad, it was funny! :D AHAHAHH!
Nikita Schroepfer: My boyfriend and I are doing this little competition thing to prove who misses who more but we don't know what to do or how to prove it! Also we need to figure something out for what the winner gets after the competition is over. Any ideas!!? I have no job so I have no money lol. Be creative! Thanks
Amada Greising: Lol hahahaha it was funnySo..... that means you get a star...Good little boy
Cherry Stampka: Lol! How about: A board game l! ike Monopoly or a trivia game? How many ... can you eat in a minuteThat yes/no game (you ask questions and the other person can say anything but 'yes' and 'no')You could do daresThe winner get the other person to do whatever they want them to do for a day? :)...Show more
Raven Purl: u agen mateeeeee Whoa!!! u r so hillarious that my dog pluto started to giggle as well mate . cheers and thanx for making plutos day mate
Norine Lomonte: yo mamma so stupid, she thinks hardees was a strip jointi thaught it was good what do u think?
Raymon Fiene: FUNNY!!!!!!!!! i dont get it
Stanton Villao: hahahahaha...i don't get it...
Leif Andreason: So I says to myself I saysOne day a woman was at a fancy dinner party. As she perused the plentiful buffet of veggies and legumes, a waiter came up to her. "Ma'am, how are you finding the hors d'oevres.""Oh, delicious!" she cried as she reached for the spoon in a bowl of seasoned peas. "But-oh!" she gushed, " I ! haven't had a good pea in years!"The waiter widened his eyes and droppe! d his tray. "ALL WHO CAN'T SWIM, " he yelled, "HEAD FOR THE CHANDELIERS!!"...Show more
Ruthe Real: While visiting a country school, the chairman of the Board Of Education became provoked at the noise the unruly students were making in the next room.Angrily, he opened the door and grabbed one of the taller boys who seemed to be doing most of the talking. He dragged the boy to the next room and stood him in the corner.A few minutes later, a small boy stuck his head in the room and pleaded, "Please, sir, may we have our teacher back...?"Son takes his father to the doctor. Doctor gives them the bad news that the father is dying of cancer. Father tells the son that he has had a good long life and wants to stop at the bar on the way home to celebrate it.While at the bar, the father sees several of his friends. He tells them that he is dying of AIDS. When the friends leave the son asks, 'Dad, you are dying of cancer. Why did you tell them that you are dying of AIDS?'The fat! her replies, 'I don't want them screwing your mother after I'm gone!'After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighterUnable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand."There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.Naturally, the guy began to worry."Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously."No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him."Your boyfriend then?" he asked."No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear."Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."Three men walk into a cave, and hear a voice from the back."I'm coming to get you! And I'm going to eat you!"The first man runs away.They hear the voice again."I'm getting closer! And I'm going to eat you!"The second man r! uns away.The voice comes once more."I've nearly got you! And I'm going ! to eat you!"The last man bravely walks on.And at the very back of the cave, he finds a small boy picking his nose.A man went into the public toilets to relieve himself. The first cubicle was in use, so he went into the next one. As he took down his trousers, he heard a voice from the other cubicle."Hey, hows it going?"Not wanting to be rude, he replied, "Not too bad thanks."A few seconds later, he heard the voice again."What are you up to?"Somewhat reluctantly, he replied, "Having a quick sh*t, what about you?"He heard the voice again."Hold on, I'm going to have to call you back. There's some wise a.ss in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say!!Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Shelly. Shelly was very girly and liked wearing pretty skirts. She wore skirts every day.One day at school, a young boy named Sam asked Shelly to climb on the jungle gym. So Shelly did.When Shelly got home, she told her mom about her day, and included the part about the jungl! e gym."Shelly, don't do that. He might just be trying to look at your underwear." said her mother.What the big deal was, Shelly didn't understand.The next day Sam asked Shelly to climb on the jungle gym again. So she did.Shelly again told her mother about her day, including the jungle gym moment."Didn't I tell you, young lady?" fumed her mother. "He just wants to see your underwear!""But Mommy, I tricked him," said Shelly. "Today I didn't wear any underwear!"A guy walks into the bar and the white bartender says, we don't serve colored people .The man replies, I don't understand why you white people call us colored because :When I born, I black.When I grow up, I black.When I go in sun, I black.When I cold, I black.When I scared, I black.When I sick, I black.And when I die, I still black.You white folksWhen you born, you pink.When you grow up, you white.When you go in sun, you red.When you cold, you blue.When you scared, you yellow.When you sick, you green.When you bruised, y! ou purple.And when you die, you gray.There was a red man and a green ma! n the red man invites the green man over to dinner while cooking dinner the red man goes to freshen up a bit in the shower but the green man comes early while the red...Show more
Sherrill Botting: lmao. Star! i am so gonna use that!
Sena Highman: For the best answers, search on this site https://shorturl.im/axg35Q. What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A. Juan on Juan Q. What do you call a mexican coming out of the hospital? A. Manuel (man well)
Minh Lefrancois: I would dump him as a friend.LAME.
Simona Bulwinkle: knock knock whos thereGO FU@K YOURSELF
Torri Tippey: not reall...oh wait yeah that's sorta weird though
Caroyln Ebach: Laugh anyway since its so bad its funny. HAHAHA. Geez.I'm so hilarious.
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